Du Hast
by chibimalta
Summary: Ivan "caves" to Natalia's demands. -crappy summary- inspired by the song Du Hast by Rammstein.


**A/N: random idea, inspired by the song by Rammstein. first posted Hetalia fanfic....**

**Warning: potential cliche-ness.  
**Du Hast

* * *

"Brother! Where are you, brother?" Natalia called, wandering the halls of Ivan's mansion. She had checked nearly every room, and had asked every servant or maid if they had seen him. No one had since the previous night- not even the Baltic Trio knew where he was hiding. Annoyed, she came upon the last room to check- Ivan's bedroom. Even though she had long since lost her patience, she was polite enough to "knock" on the door.

There was a long silence before the door was opened, revealing a very sleepy-looking Ivan. "Natalia?" He asked, stiffling a yawn. "What do you want so early in the morning?"

"First off, it's ten. Secondly, it's your birthday, so I htought our wedding day should be today." Natalia stated simply.

Ivan felt the urge to bang his head on something- he should have known that was what she was here for. Yet, as he stood there, an idea wormed its way into his mind. And not one of the nearly impossible ideas Alfred would come up with. No, this was one of his own, definitely possible ideas. Ideas that almost always involved torture of some sort. This one would be no different.

He hid his smirk under an innocent smile and replied, "Of course. We don't have much time until then, da?"

She eyed him suspiciously for a moment, then said a little reluctantly, "I was aiming for 3, so we could have a long party afterward...."

"Oh, alright then. You should start getting ready- it takes a woman much longer, da?"

She simply nodded and stalked off to the spare room she usually used when she visited. He shut the door and went to his closet to begin rumaging for something appropriate to wear. As he got ready, he couldn't help but smile joyously. True, his idea would greatly upset Natalia, but after all those years of him "putting up with" this......Well, it was time she learned he just didn't love her that way. And this seemed to be the only way to go about doing that- while hopefully getting her to move on.

* * *

The church Natalia dragged Ivan to was a simple Russian Orthodox church. Although it looked fairly new, upon closer inspection of the whitewash walls, one could see cracks, a tell-tale sign of old age. Ivan only noticed this as he waited for Natalia to find the priest. He almost felt bad that he was to carry out his idea in a church of his religion, but now it was either the idea or......he didn't want to think about that. He shoved the thought out of his mind and focused on how to carry out his idea.

Before long, his sister reemerged from some other part of the church, the priest hurrying behind her. The priest looked at Ivan for a moment. He just stared back, glancing at the priest's robes and the small book they held in their hand. Then the priest took their place, thus inviting the siblings to do the same. Man on the right, woman on the left.

The whole ceremony was fairly short, and it wasn't lond before the priest asked Natalia, "Do you, Natalia Arlofskaya, take Ivan to be your lawfully wedded husband, to love him in times of health and sickness, until death do you part?"

"I do." She responded smoothly, smiling.

The priest then turned to Ivan and asked, "And do you, Ivan Braginsky, take Natalia to be your lawfully wedded wife, to love her in times of health and sickness, until death do you part?"

Ivan could no longer smoother his smirk as he replied, almost harshly, "Nyet. She is my sister."

There was a horrid silence, in which an appalled look consumed the face of the priest. They did not know which of the pair to be more angered with- Natalia, for being misleading, or Ivan, for having the guts to act like any other man about to be happily married and then rejecting the woman and breaking the truth, all while smirking. The priest felt a little sympathy toward Natalia, whose face was horror-striken. It was during this silence that Ivan slipped out of the church, heading back to his home quickly.

* * *

**yay for a crappy ending! although this whole thing isn't any of my best work....  
anyways, if you have any ideas on how to make it better or how I should continue it (I feel it kinda just ends randomly), press that button below and tell me, cuz I'm not a mind reader. nor am I good at writing Hetalia fanfics for some reason.**

**Please tell me what you think! It might motivate me to write more Hetalia fanfics!**


End file.
